This time last year I was over half way through my pregnancy. My bump at this point was sizeable but not massive and we were slowly getting used to the idea that we had a baby on the way.
I say we were getting used to the idea but if you had asked us if we were excited we would have looked at you like rabbits caught in headlights. Excited wasn’t the word that sprang to mind, scared, nervous, apprehensive these were all words that sprang to mind. We had left it quite a while to start a family, we had married young and wanted to spend time where it was just us. I was starting to feel that the longer we left it the more apprehensive I became about starting a family. Had I become too set in my ways? Was I too selfish? Did I really want to give up some of the things that I really enjoyed? (back to being too selfish). I can safely say that when the little lady turned up all of that was forgotten, only because I had a really bad case of baby brain … haha only joking.
Mr K and I both felt (like most new parents I would imagine) that we hadn’t got a clue what to do. That feeling hasn’t left, well not for me anyway. I don’t understand how people say that having a second child is easy because you know what you are doing, I am winging it with baby number one and should we have another baby I will be winging it again. Not knowing what to do does make the first couple of months quite tough, you’re trying to get to know each other, figure out feeding, sleeping and trying to get some kind of normality into your life. We had a tough time with feeding. I stupidly assumed that breast feeding would come naturally and there would be no problems, this was incredibly naive of me but no one ever warns you that it might not be easy and could be a struggle (until you have struggles and then people open up) I should say that it’s not like this for everyone. The little lady went from 6lb 12oz at birth to 5lb 10oz within 10 days. With a lot of help from the staff at our local hospital we got to the bottom of the issue. I took lots of fenugreek tablets to try and help improve milk supply (after a few days of taking it I oozed fenugreek, it was coming out of my pores!) and then we would top up with formula. This put the little lady on the right track and she started gaining weight.
Once the feeding was under control things became a little easier. The little lady was far more content and we even managed to go out for lunch! She is really chilled, likes her sleep (I know that this is bad new parent etiquette to talk about good sleepers, but the little lady slept through from around 4 months) is pretty sociable and since we started weaning she is keen to try almost anything. I am just waiting for something to change and for the little lady to turn into a little devil. We believe that someone is watching down on us and gave us a good baby because they knew we wouldn’t be able to cope with anything else.
I have been astounded at how much love I have for this little person and am in awe when watching her learn and try new things. Sorry, sickening I know.